Life is a beautiful creation!! I just want to take a moment and rejoice in that.... ah! Feels good.
I have been keeping at my practice, although I have found it difficult to find the time to write everyday and to be quite honest the pressure I put on my self to write was a bit of a creative suppressant, if you will.
Now that I got that out, I have to say I have had quite a few ideas rolling around in my head. With it being the new year and all, I have been thinking a lot about taking the time to conciously create a "new story" for my self.
My current story isn't all that bad, but hey why stop there! I want to feel the bliss and pure joy and love, (that I have experienced in all too brief of times) constantly, and I see no reason why that should not be possible. I truly believe we are capable of anything; our beliefs and habitual thoughts being the only thing setting limitations. This is a big part of why I have decided to commit to meditation being an integral part of my life, not only for these 40 days but for rest of my life!! Through meditation I am cultivating discipline over my own thoughts, even ceasing them all together so that I can just BE. In this state, you KNOW your limitless nature, you are fully one with your truly LOVEing nature and complete equanimity. AHHHhh. Thank you thank you thank you!
So, in pondering a "new story" I have been trying to be quite honest about my current story (the story, I tell myself). A while back I came to the realization, not only intellectually but also experientially that our subconscious minds literally create our universe. And I mean literally. I suppose what happens in noting this is that you then realize you can shift this creating from your subconscious to your conscious thoughts. At first I was just thrilled at this realization, I mean, it all makes sense... You are GOD! Like they say in the bible, we were given conciousness unlike other animals and were made "in the image of GOD" With our thoughts we have the power to move mountains!!
I am still thrilled at this new way of experiencing life.... it means taking responsiblity for everything, or at least your experience of everything! That made me think, well if this has been going on all along, then I should be able to look at my past, my experiences of life thus far and deduce my beliefs from that! This is truly a wonderfully eye opening exercise. My ego, likes to tell me the story of me being quite perfect!! Those of you who know me well will not be surprised by this! ha. But I am slowly realizing, this is only a defence mechanism. Why am I so afraid of appearing vulnerable... I took a close look at past relationships and noticed clear patterns of vying for the attention of someone I had put up on a pedastle. Did I believe I was not worthy of their attention? As the quote says: "As within, so without", "As above, so below" and as the Law of Attraction states: "that which is a vibrational match to what you put forth, will be drawn unto you!" .... It is clear I have my work or rather the next step in growth set out for me.... namely, to love myself so unconditionally that I truly believe I am worthy of the world.
I think I will leave it at that for now. I could go on forever. I still did not get to my "new story" but to be quite honest I haven't fully dreamt it up, and I want it to be GOOD so I will save that for tomorrow.
Goodnight, God bless
In love and light
Jessica
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