Wow, so I don't have writers block... it's that I have way too many things, thoughts, experiences and revelations that I want to record and share that I just don't know where to start! I really do want to continue to discuss my "New Story" as I have spent a lot of time and written quite a bit on what it looks like, but today I have a very specific experience I would like to share!
Today, I laid down to meditate. And then turned my awareness to the energy of my body. I have been using a mantra in my meditation practice with the intent to still my mind. And although I enjoy this technique and feel it is necessary for where I am at, I originally found a meditative state through the practice of turning my awareness inside and feeling the sensations of the body. ... So today I started there. I decided to watch my thoughts this time, and just follow them. I knew I was already in a state, where my thoughts were not the usual banter.. I relaxed and saw a tunnel, kinda like the tube of an anemone (only without the thing in the middle) in the midst of darkness, like out in the middle of the universe. And I was called to go down this tunnel. (The whole thing, that I am about to describe happened as if someone was reading me a story. I couldn't have made this up myself. ) So I travelled through the tunnel, like I was flying and when I emerged out the other side, I thought "what is it like here?" and then I knew that there, I was only a ball of light! And then I knew I could go anywhere.. so I thought, "where would I like to go" It was almost as if the answer to my questions came before I was done thinking the question. I wanted to go visit my mom! So I was there, I was at my parents place, my mom was in the kitchen, and the tv was on, and the radio in the kitchen was on. And I gave my mom the biggest longest hug I could give her, but it wasn't enough, I wanted to merge with her, so remembering I was a ball of light, I thought I will do that! So I merged with her, I became her, it was as if I was looking out through her eyes. And then I filled her with the knowing that "it is all perfect", "everything is okay", "she is perfect and is free to be amazing!" And when I felt I had accomplished that, I left. I was back in that place of pure energy. I was the ball of light again, and so I thought "where do I want to go now?" India, of course. So then I was there, and then the craziest thing happened. I felt it. My whole body responded as if I was there! At times when I meditate or simply relax into being, my body begins to twitch and shake. This time, that feeling came on so strong, so powerfully and suddenly upon "being in India". I felt like there was just so much going on, it was all so fast, and hectic, and amazing! I felt completely overwhelmed, but not in a scared way, in a emotionally raw way. So many emotions came up and I started to cry. And then I was there with someone, I didn't see a physical body, i really didn't see physical things at all. And then I told this being, "I am coming, I will be there soon!" And then I left and i was back in that place of pure energy. I decided that was it for today. it was over. tears still running down my face.
I am off to bed, but first I want to say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, (I can't say it enough) to spirit for everything, especially this experience. Oh and I also want to say thank you to Laura & Katie for being great dinner dates the last couple nights, I appreciate your friendship immensely and am so glad I can share my "crazy" stories with you. :)
Goodnight!
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